Playing a Player: The Big Bad Wolf



Beast/ wolf-man

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Beneath the exterior of Mr Nice Guy, there's the beast who is able to steal your heart and eat your dreams. The band Duck Sauce has opened up a whole new debate: What if this beast is woman, not man? PIC: Online/ Wolf-man movie

The new Duck Sauce song “Big Bad Wolf” is bringing the notion of ‘player’ to a whole new level: that it can apply both to men and women.

The video is 18-rated for explicitly showing men on the prowl, hunting for hot girls. After finding the chosen targets in a bar, the ‘leader of the pack’ unzips his pants and you are horrified to find a head in the place of his “package.” The second guy follows suit and their heads howl in unison towards the ladies. They take them home and, shockingly, the women also have heads instead of their ‘delicate areas.’

Ah, the bitter-sweet wolf-whistle. Some girls thrive on its power to make you feel sexy, others hate it for demeaning women as pieces of meat. For many girls, the video shows the disturbing truth of being confronted by sex every day. You cannot wear cleavage, a short skirt or red lipstick without being stared at constantly. But, the video also shows another interesting dynamic: women who think more like men about sex. The girls in the video are just as keen to partake in making out and sleeping with the lustful heads.

But, is this the effect guys anticipate? A guy friend once told me:

“Girls don’t dress that way (short skirts, red lipstick) for guys. They wear that for each other. It’s a constant competition of who is hotter and who can keep your attention for longer.”

Duck Sauce wolf

MIND GAMES: Are men and women thinking more and more alike? The new song "Big Bad Wolf" argues yes. PIC: Online

What the other guys say:

“Dressing sexy may attract me. But personality is what keeps me.”

“Girls are thinking more like men. It’s all about: ‘I am hot. I need sex.’ While the men are thinking: Damn! My heart will be broken again.”

“The more skin I see, the more I lack respect. Come on, leave something to the imagination!”

“Girls must stop thinking I want to talk dirty constantly. Sometimes ‘How was your day?’ will just be as meaningful. Knowing you care about me is a massive turn on all on its own.”

“She broke up with me when I told her I needed a break from all the sex. Yeah, it hurts at times down there! She didn’t believe me, thought I had someone on the side…”

“I can’t take it when I’m in a club enjoying the music and some random girl rubs herself against my crotch. I’ve been slapped for not reacting. Sometimes I just wanna listen to the music!”
“I think Cosmo and programmes like Sex and the City are breeding the man-eater generation. She wants sex with Mr Right Now, not Mr Right.”

“I’m scared of those girls who plaster themselves in make-up and expect you to take them home. I just want the real deal, stop trying to give me America’s Next Top Model wannabe.”

“Women are the hunters these days, but I still wanna do the chasing. There’s no fun in it being the other way around. I’ll lose interest too quickly.”

“Girls these days keep asking me if I’m a T ‘n T (Tits or Toosh/ Ass) guy. They are horrified to find I’m a smile or eyes kind of guy. Those attributes keep me dreaming…”

The better to smell you with

This miscommunication between men and women may have been caused by the girl’s unfortunate meeting with “the Big Bad Wolf,” once upon a time. This is the guy who’s been emotionally present in a girl’s life for a few weeks, months or even years. He listens to her problems, comforts her with the right words and NEVER makes any comments on her physique.

She comes to believe that he is neutral; that, unlike other guys, he really cares about her. Indeed, he does. It boosts his ego to know how powerful he is to her. She makes the fatal mistake of idolising him.

wolf pack

MOB HYSTERIA: Are men or women more dangerous when they hunt in packs? Who does the chasing, after all? PIC: Online

The better to see you with

This was the case for Michelle. For two and a half years, she dated such a man. At first, their relationship was based on duty and role-play.

She had to clean his flat, massage him and give up her friends to make time for him. Slowly, their relationship transitioned into something romantic, only he would control her by never kissing her on the lips. He only kissed her when she was “well behaved” i.e. when she did exactly as she was told.

She didn’t realise she was just another girl and just another trophy. He never openly flirted with anyone, but his charm kept his popularity intact. She continued to believe they were a happy couple, when in fact it was the most torturous emotional prison. She soon lost her friends, identity and almost her life. After their twentieth break-up , she tried to commit suicide.


TRUE LOVE: Little girls are led to believe that true love can break any spell and Prince Charming will one day magically appear. PIC: Online/ Beauty and The Beast Disney movie

The better to eat you with

The Big Bad Wolf comes in various forms:

  • Mr Nice Guy: He listens diligently and has the kindest eyes. He also writes to you regularly. You come to believe he truly cares about you. But, one night, you spot him kissing someone else. He casually explains you guys were just friends anyway. You fall for those kind eyes again… until you see him kissing yet another girl the next week and the next.
  • Sweet Talker: He’s full of amazing compliments (mostly about your intelligence/ ambition/ ideals) and takes you for midnight rides in his Merc or BMW. You really believe you are special to him. One night, he kisses you passionately, then asks for your best friend’s number the next time you meet up.
  • Adonis: You meet him at gym. A few months later, he becomes your Personal Trainer after casual talks outside. One night, he asks you out for a glass of wine and takes you back to his place instead. He removes his shirt and casually says: “You can look, but don’t touch: I’ve been in a relationship for five years. But, G*d, you smell good…”
  • Prince Charming: He’s the geeky guy at work that helped fix your car, your computer and your bad back. What talented fingers! One night, you invite him out to thank him. He shows up with his boyfriend. Arghhh….
  • Night Knight: He’s your ex-flame who calls you up each time he’s in town. Each time you tell him no, he ends up sending you something sentimental: the clip of the first song you danced to, a bottle of the perfume you wore when you first met. His memory is excellent, but luckily so is yours…

Once upon a time…

FAMILY TIDES: Nymphenburg Palace is situated in Munich, where the Wittelsbach family clan spent most of their political time... PHOTO: Vanessa Smeets


… in the Kingdom of Bavaria, Ludwig II was born on the 25th of August, 1845 in Nymphenburg. He was a complicated, lonely prince who loved riding horses, but hated the idea of hunting animals just for the sake of killing them. Instead, he adorned his palaces with swans, peacocks (his favourite creature) and horses.

Neuschwanstein, the fairytale castle that inspired Walt Disney’s Cinderella castle and the most photographed castle in the world, took 17 years to be built and yet Ludwig II only spent six months of his life in it. He was found drowned in the lake near by at the age of 40, alongside his doctor who had pronounced him clinically insane six months before.

It is still a mystery who killed whom or whether it was a matter of suicide.

Surrounded by stone tables imported from Afghanistan, a collection of Chinese porcelain vases (but handcrafted by artists in Munich) and ivory chandeliers from India, Ludwig II had expensive taste and was obsessed with being as extravagant as Louis XIV, the sun king of France and his father’s godfather. Instead, Ludwig II became known as the moon king, awake only at night surrounded by candles. He also imported flowers constantly to his palaces, making sure every season was spring.

MAJESTIC: Inside, Nymphenburg Palace is incredibly breathtaking... a mix between the Sistine Chapel and the Palace of Versailles. PHOTO: Vanessa Smeets

It took his family over 20 years to pay off an estimated 40 million marks. Unlike most believe, Ludwig II did not use taxpayer’s money to pay off his obsession with fairytale kingdoms. He used as best he could, his personal wealth or asked his family members to contribute. Yet, he never invited any of them to visit him. He loved being alone. Even his dining room had a huge mirror in front of his seating place, so he could watch himself eat.



CINDERELLA CASTLE: Neuschwanstein inspired Walt Disney's castle and is the most photographed castle in the world. PHOTO: Vanessa Smeets

In order not to be disturbed, it included a trap door underneath, so that servants could place food or remove it as he wished. It is rumoured, being so handsome and over 6ft4, he found everyone else disgustingly ugly. Being extremely religious and Catholic, he also struggled with homosexual feelings. Especially when it came to his obsession with Richard Wagner, the German genius of operas and one of his few guests. Although he wrote love letters to his cousin Elizabeth, they were more a make-believe game, writing to each other as characters from Wagner’s operas.


Ludwig II expressed his anguish at being born 150 years too late and his dire need to escape to places like the Palace of Versailles, where monarchies still had influence over their people. Instead, he paved the way as the most modern king of his time. His palaces, apart from trap doors and revolving pieces, included electric candles and even a coffee grinder.

He lived most of his life at Linderhof Palace, originally intended as his hunting grounds. The rooms here were very similar to the ones set out at Neuschwanstein, which he never saw finished. Every room at Linderhof is adorned in gold-plated hand-encrafted wall-paper, where even paintings on the wall turn into 3-D masterpieces (such as a foot is sculpted out of the picture).


UNIQUE: Linderhof Palace was reserved as Ludwig II's hunting grounds, but he spent most of his life here, even creating a building in the garden similar to a mosque for his love for all cultures. PHOTO: Vanessa Smeets

Ludwig II’s imagination got the better of him. He wanted and saw too much, yet was never satisfied. Every room in each palace is a reflection of his favourite Shakespeare play, Wagner opera or mythological legend; in search of his own muse. He died a mysterious death, which folklore claims his own family masterminded. His fairytale dreams drove him to insanity and despair, forever in search of the “happily ever after” his soul craved for…