50 Shades of Sexpo South Africa

VANESSA SMEETS

The following article was written as a news piece for News24.com… It is therefore very unusual to Chica Papillon’s usual content. Sorry for offending any readers.

Pulse boys

WET WET WET: The Pulse boys from Joburg take to the main stage after dressing up as Baywatch lifeguards. Copyright: Vanessa Smeets

One of South Africa’s most anticipated events, SEXPO (Health, Sexuality and Lifestyle Exhibition), took place this weekend, with thousands of people gathering at Nasrec Expo Centre in Johannesburg, to see what 2012 had to offer. Normal tickets cost R199, while VIPs were selling at R299 and included a lucky packet filled with info and a naughty DVD. My friends won tickets, so I was dared to go with them. Shew…

Pulse dancer

LAP DANCE: A lucky audience member is given a personal lap-dance. Copyright: Vanessa Smeets

Interestingly, I spotted more women than men walking around. Also, you can’t help staring at certain couples: a pair was walking around completely naked, while another pair walked around in chains and latex.
The Ladies’ Lounge was by far the most popular spot for both sexes. The Pulse boys from Joburg gave their version of Magic Mike (the SA Edition), by tearing off their kits (until their thongs) in front of dozens of screaming fans. There was even a blowjob competition, where girls were ordered to ummm… suck a banana. Those too keen broke their bananas several times. Adventurous-looking girls were dragged on to the stage to be given a public lap-dance.

Mark Anthony

SLEEP! World famous hypnotist Mark Anthony unleashes a disgusting smell in audience members’ subconscious, which leaves them reeling. Copyright: Vanessa Smeets

The Pulse boys also took to the main stage, dressed as naughty schoolboys, police officers, lifeguards (to the music of Baywatch) and other delightful female fetishes.
For those a little more conservative, there were aerial artists, hypnotists (including the famous Mark Anthony from Australia), comedians and rollercoaster rides.

Stalls Nasrec Expo Centre

TASTES FOR ALL: The stalls in the main hall catered for all tastes… Copyright: Vanessa Smeets

This year included a Fetish Ball for the first time, inspired by 50 Shades of Grey… With a secluded section sealed off for whipping, lashings and “those kind of” piercings.

The main hall’s products included a variety of perfume, hair equipment, gels, creams, naughty outfits, lingerie and new devices. Several stalls, for example, were trying to sell “the menstrual cup,” which they claim is more environment-friendly than the pad and healthier to use than the tampon. You’ll have to Google how it works exactly…

Pricasso

TALENTED: Auzzie Pricasso, the only artist of his kind in the world, entertains audience members with his tough talent. Copyright: Vanessa Smeets

The P*ssy Room was almost full constantly, showing short films from various countries. But, to many South Africans, the films were too long to bear. Many exited the cinema during a film about a woman masturbating in public. People were also shocked by the extreme close-ups of a couple, dressed in spandex from head to toe. They cut holes in their outfits at various intervals, until the Grand Finalé.

I met people who go to Sexpo just to see “Pricasso,” a talented Australian who enjoys doing portraits of his audience, celebrities and politicians with his, yes, penis and does the final touches with his buttocks. You can get your portrait done at R300 or a double portrait of you and a friend at R400.

The Playboy Lounge was also hugely successful, selling five signed copies of the magazine at R100. Jade Fairbrother, 2012’s Playmate of the Year, was the friendliest playmate claiming my guy friends would “love me forever” if I was daring enough to get them some copies. We’ll have to see about their reactions…

Jade Fairbrother

PLAYBOY PEN: SA’s first playmate ever, Jade Fairbrother, kindly poses with us daring girls. Copyright: Vanessa Smeets

3 thoughts on “50 Shades of Sexpo South Africa

  1. This could be controversy of the year: a show with no words, all contemporary dance, unspeakable content (try to be mysterious but really not very sucessful), and a moving stage- people walk around in the hotel for 2.5 hrs and the hotel has 5 floors. The decor in the hotel surely worth 1 star, I espeically love the room with rose scent and dry ice, and the forest with “woods” and “grasses”.The content though is just using sex plus horror as the selling point. I know they wanna say it’s a modern version of Macbeth, but guess what, I found it far from true, the portrait was so trashy. All the shakespeare show that I’ve watched at small theatres, big theatres, are better.Also it’s definitely too lengthy FOR WHAT THEY HAVE SET UP- the current show could easily be cut by half in terms of the content.Superficial under the disguise of peculiarity. Skip the hype!

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