How to scare away Mr Right, now!

VANESSA SMEETS

So you’re back in the dating game, ready to meet Mr Right or Mr Right Now, whichever one comes first. LOL… It’s a daunting feeling: back to gym, the hairdresser, the beauty salon.

Does one dare to colour and cut when you finally meet your blind date? Does one wax for a first date?

Movies like The Ugly Truth and How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, as well as series like Sex & the City and books like He’s Just Not That Into You have paved the way for how to date effectively. Yet many women still find themselves making the same mistakes over and over again.

These are the worst things to do when you finally find him (thanks to my guy friends for sharing). Basically, it’s a compilation of “How to lose a guy in 10 minutes…” That easy!

• Flirt with his mates and ignore him the whole evening. Some ladies think by being friendly to his mates, you’ll score points with him. There’s a fine line between friendliness and flirtiness, my dear.
• Wear a wedding dress to a first date. Ummm, yeah… Too eager, perhaps? Wedding dress can refer to anything that hints at moving along too fast: showing bra-straps/ g-string, a garter…
• Sms/ call him constantly. So, you like the dude? Let him do the chasing! How can he miss you if you never go away?
• Fall for his best friend. They look alike. They hang out constantly. He’s bound to rub off on you too… Try to keep your distance.
• Become a sexting slut. Funny enough when you meet the right guy, or what seems to be, you lose inhibition and carry on flirting like madly. Be careful of scaring him off with your tie and bondage fantasies. He may also expect them in real.

Courtesy: E-cards

• Rearrange his stuff. So he’s finally allowed you to check out his place? Lucky girl! Don’t ruin it by doing his dishes or laundry; may get too cozy for comfort.
• Insult his mother or sister. No matter how badly he may talk about them (even just once), never say anything bad about them!
  This is a test to see if you really want to be with a guy who can’t even respect his feminine ties and a test to see how sweet you really are…
• Insist on knowing everything about his exes. “Did she touch you like that?” is as bad as saying “I love you” on a first date. Don’t go there!
• Ask him to change his hairstyle/ wardrobe/ way of speaking. You fell for him the way he is, so why go and tempt fate by changing him… that includes his drinking or smoking habits.
• Cyberstalk him. Declaring your undying love via Facebook will kill it solid! This includes insisting on becoming Facebook official (The worst kind: “In a relationship with… and it’s complicated.” Does everyone need to know you’re not having sex regularly?), liking each one of his profile pics, commenting on photos he’s just been tagged in (unless they’re with you) or dedicating a whole album to him.
• Wait for him in his office. This may sound romantic at first, but may totally freak him out if it becomes a stalkerish habit. “Are you openly spying on me?” will be the first thought on his mind, no matter how sexy your little outfit under the trench-coat is.
• Use him as a rebound. Transfer all your feelings about “your amazing ex” onto the new guy. So amazing he didn’t last… Don’t do it to this guy.
• Tattoo his name on your ass or back. It’s called a tramp stamp for a reason, to every guy who gets to see it after your beloved. Look at what Johnny Depp had to do to his Winona Ryder tattoo… Wino forever!

Courtesy: E-cards

• Wear something skanky to your first date… Do you really want to leave nothing to the imagination?

This includes…

• Having sex on the first or second date. Some guys have admitted it turns them on when a girl rubs herself seductively against his crotch, some have complained these are the girls to avoid: the cockteasers. Even worst are the girls unable to close their legs. Sorry hun, whatever your excuses (It’s been months! He smells great! I was drunk!) are never good enough when realizing you’ve been played. As the old saying goes: “Why buy the cow, when the milk’s for free?”

Now, after all that, time to sit back, relax and enjoy!