The In-Between

VANESSA SMEETS

in between

How much are you putting into a relationship and how much are you getting out of it? PIC: online

You’ve finally met someone. He’s smart, sophisticated and very good looking. You’re not sure whether to tell your friends. After all, you’ve only bumped into him a couple of times at your favourite coffee shop. The last time was different, he finally approached you and asked for your name.

You stuttered at first. For once, you weren’t paying attention and weren’t observing what he was drinking. He sat down at your table. You spoke about your job, your love for Chai tea and your distaste for politics. He even laughed at your witty remarks. Then, suddenly, he looked at his watch and had to leave.

You expected him to ask for your number, but it didn’t happen. The next day, you wear your favourite dress, expecting him to be there. He doesn’t appear for another week. You smile when you see him. He waves, but nothing more.

Have the roles changed: are women the hunters and men playing hard to get?

You expect him to sit with you, but he walks right past and sits in front of you. So close, that you can smell his cologne. You stop staring and carry on reading. He looks at you and smiles. You catch him in the corner of your eye.

Thirty minutes later, he grabs his briefcase. You have to make a decision: ask for his number or let him walk away. He walks slowly past your table.

“Michael!” you shout out, or whatever his name may be. He stops and looks down. You get up. The dress you chose today is embarrassingly creased, so you stay seated.

“Could I get your number?” you quickly finish.

Out of the blue, he sits down.

“I may have given you the wrong impression last time,” he says, smiling. “I don’t want to give you my number. I’d rather ask for yours… but you kind of ruined that now.”

Your heart beats faster, then slows down to an unhealthy pace. He stands up and leaves. Not even a good bye. So, women should be chased after all, you think.

The next two weeks, he doesn’t appear. The waitress leaves you a note the day you give up hope.

It reads: “I changed jobs and, therefore, coffee shops. I miss seeing your smile and seeing you spill a little of your Chai tea as I walk in. Here’s my number…. I never got the chance to ask you first.”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” the waitress says, worried, “He gave this ten days ago. I completely forgot.”

Your heart beats at an incredible pace. You don’t even have to wait to not seem too eager. The waitress gave you a head start.

That night, you thank him by sms for the note. No reply. As you get out of the shower, the phone rings. It’s him. His voice is so much deeper over the phone. You can’t feel your legs. You put on your sexiest phone voice. He giggles: “Stop that! You’re exciting me!”

You ask when you can see him again. He hesitates. He has to go away on business.

“I’ll call you in a week.”

He does. The next day, he appears at your door with a bunch of roses. At the end of the night, he bends down to kiss you. The smell of his cologne makes you dizzy. His lips approach yours. They’re warm. They taste sweet from the evening’s champagne. His tongue slowly touches yours. It’s electric. His hands move from your face to your neck, to across your waist. The kissing lasts three hours.

He smses you for the rest of the night. Suddenly, his shyness disappears. The messages are quite explicit. This carries on for two weeks as he’s off on business again.

You ask him if you can change your Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship.” He hesitates then briskly says, “No!”

It surprises you. He explains that’s not the way he intended in making it official. Gosh, you’ve blown it again. You didn’t let him chase you long enough. The in between is the hardest part of any relationship. As exciting as it is to be touched, kissed and mentally explored, it can get quite frustrating. For most women, it means days of sleepless nights waiting for him to call or ask you out again.

in between

Time to rethink your flirting strategy. PIC: online

Some tips:

  • Spend your time on other things.
  • Remember who you were before you met him.
  • Don’t brag about it to your friends. It may not work out.
  • Write in a book what you would like to say to him, but know may scare him off.
  • Don’t start acting clingy or jealous.
  • Wait for him to do the asking and enjoy this in between. It’s the time you can still be your sexy self, with the knowledge someone does find you extremely attractive.
  • Send him naughty smses, but don’t turn into a “sexting slut.” It may give him the impression that’s all your worth.
  • Have fun every time you do get to see him. He will sleep, dreaming about you.

4 thoughts on “The In-Between

  1. We must learn to live alone. Human relationships suck. The word RELATIONSHIP is the cause of loneliness. When you don’t need two legged creatures, that day you are strong. Relationships are EVIL.

    • Shame dude, sorry you feel that way. Unfortunately, man was created to love and be loved, just like a bird was created with wings.

  2. i believe even the worst relationships help us grow and move forward. We can’t pretend we enjoy solitude all the time. As much as one loves being alone, it’s nice to share what you see, hear, taste with someone who appreciates it just as much.

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